Thursday, May 29, 2008

I weep for the young people of the world...

...just about anytime I read the comments section of any popular website.

Case in point: Brooklyn Vegan's post about the Staten Island Music Festival.

It's funny. Often when meeting someone for the first time here in NYC they will ask where I'm from, the assumption being that I'm a transplant. I'll reply that I'm a native New Yorker but then usually add "Well, actually I'm from Staten Island." Yet, the other day I met a guy who told me he was from Boston even though he was actually from Cambridge or somewhere. Which begs the question, why I am making qualifications? SI is legitimately part of New York City.

Being from Staten Island is kind of like having an asshole brother. It's okay for you to make fun of him but if anyone else does they're crossing the line.

Here was my response to the comments section hateration:

Not everyone in Staten Island is a Sopranos-wanna be with an orange tan.

Not everyone in Williamsburg is a hipster douchebag with a trust fund.

It's too easy derive a sense of superiority by painting the people of the world who are a bit different than you with broad strokes. At least half of the above commentators should be ashamed of themselves.

Staten Island may not have the grandeur or the concentrated young person populace of certain areas of Brooklyn. It does have some beautiful parks, cheap rents, a distinct lack of pretension and a whole lot of elbow room. It has it's flaws to be sure but I'm certain most of the elitist posturing is coming from those who have never stepped foot in the borough. Your cluelessness and need for acceptance is abundantly evident. Whomever you're trying to impress will see right through you.

Staten Island will be gentrified soon enough. Remember what Williamsburg was like 15 years ago? You don't? Oh that's because you've only been here for three. I hope your band/theater/art project works out and if not I hope you at least get laid a lot before you head back to your hometown. (Sorry. I couldn't resist.)

The other thing that makes me weep for the youth of America: A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila


dola said...

Excellent retort man. Between you and "Lecherous Frenchman" i'd say our fine homebase was nicely acquitted.

Including TNV or Psychedelic Horseshit on the bands from Ohio roster would've made it more relevant for 'the kids'. Know your audience!

Anonymous said...

The only time I was ever in Staten Island, I was raped by a cast member of the Sopranos (Steve Schirripa AKA Bobby Baccalieri ). It was in a park, which I have to admit, was really beautiful.

Nate K