Case Studies in Hype: Dirty Projectors and the Beets

(Please note the lack of a string section above)

There's a hilarious bit from the comedy duo Scharpling and Wurster about the fictional rock band Mother 13. In the role of singer Corey Harris, Jon Wurster explains how his fledgling major label rock band sounds like a cross between The Clash, the Who, Led Zeppelin, R.E.M. and some other well-regarded, A-list rock bands. However, when he plays his band's single, what one hears is lifeless rock only remarkable for how generic it is. Scharpling is incredulous, accusing Wurster of mentioning those bands as an attempt to use their credibility for his own gain.

I couldn't help but think of this "cred by association" when I heard Dirty Projectors covering Black Flag's Damaged album. Well, they don't exactly "cover" the songs but rather offer a reinterpretation from memory. This canny stunt would bring the Brooklyn band lots of attention, which culminated just a few months ago with the release of the follow up to the Rise Above project, Bitte Orca. The album received nearly universal acclaim and has made the band into one of the bigger names in the indie community.

The problem is Dirty Projectors are more or less the exact aesthetic opposite of Black Flag: studied, precious and overly intellectualized. There's absolutely nothing visceral or immediate about their music, which evokes nothing other than how clever its composers must be. Forget about hitting the listeners as hard as a classic punk tune. They don't even have the impact of the average top 40 pop song (Those songs tend to have hooks). I have trouble imagining Dirty Projectors as music that someone "enjoys." It's music that one appreciates if one convinces oneself that is for the best.

The Dirty Projectors never met a vocal affectation or sharp timing change they didn't like, employing them whether or not they serve the tune. Weird for the sake of weird, as Moe Szyslak would say. Old school rock fans may deplore modern bands like Vampire Weekend and MGMT, at least those bands have a backbeat and seek to move the listener. Dirty Projectors just pile on the quirk and hope it adds up to something. When the band strips away their more histrionic tendencies, such as on the single "Stillness in the Move," the results approach listenable. This happens far too rarely on Bitte Orca for the album to be of use to anyone but those who'd rather marvel at a band's "ingenuity" than be engaged by their music.

The Beets, on the other hand are almost ridiculously simple. The band's Spacemen-3-meets-Beat-Happening-style garage pop gained them a good amount of recognition in a relatively short period. I caught the band a few weeks ago and I was initially impressed with their unique style. However, by the end of their set I found myself rather bored as their sameness of sound relented into monotony. This was clearly a band with potential but seemed to be unworthy of the praise they were receiving.

However, I think the root this band's particular hype comes from intentions that are sincere and well-meaning. In the film Ratatouille, the character Anton Ego gives a speech about the role of the critic, concluding that the critic's ultimate purpose is the "defense of the new." "The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations, the new needs friends," he states. I think that often people, particularly if they are in some kind of gate-keeper position, will see a band like the Beets and realize they've got something going even if they have not quite figured it all out yet. So they try to give the new some friends and talk up the band to status they may have not quite achieved as of yet. Of course, there are bandwagon-jumpers who will immediately take to a band like this as they are the sort that relish in being able to say they were into this awesome shit before anybody else. Suddenly, the band has a following and those on the outside are scratching their heads saying "What the hell is big deal about these guys?" It's sort of like a single A-prospect being brought up to the majors and everybody wondering why he's hitting .220.

Of course, in these accelerated times, bands can achieve a modicum of fame much more quickly than they could years ago. In the past the above process might have taken three years, in which time the band may have matured and developed to the point of definite potency (or they could have broken up and that would be that). Now, this process could take three months. Bands are hyped to the heavens and then quickly discarded for not living up to perhaps unreasonable expectations. There was great quote in the 2006 Pazz and Jop poll wherein a critic notes (I'm paraphrasing, I can't find original quote) "The first time I heard of Cold War Kids was when I heard that everyone is sick of hearing about Cold War Kids." That about sums it up.

The Beets may well have a great record in them. Let's not write them off before they can accomplish it.

Matador Records: 20 Years is Two Decades

20 years!!! So many Matador memories. Going to CBGBs for the first time to see a Matador New Music Seminar showcase (and still having the Bunny Brains 7" to prove it). The finale of the label's 10th anniversary show where Jon Spencer joined Yo La Tengo onstage for a rendition of "Slack Motherfucker." The time Robert Pollard bought beer for my underaged self at Sideshows by the Seashore on Coney Island and was inspired to write "The Official Ironmen Rally Song" as I vomited over the boardwalk. (Note: one of the preceding statements is untrue.)

Matador has sometimes been the object of ridicule among less than enlightened music snobs, partially for their occasional dalliances with evil major labels Atlantic and Capital. Yeah, fuck them for making a profit and attempting to expand the audience of their artists. Truth be told, a few labels in history have discographies as adventurous, diverse and high in quality as Matador, and even fewer have been able to do it for as long. I don't think it's hyperbole to state that modern music would be very different if not for the label's influence. We all owe them a debt of gratitude.

To commemorate the label's anniversary, my colleague at Pop Tarts Suck Toasted put together his list of the Top 20 Matador Albums of All-Time. I'm not going to argue with his choices (though, being the contentious type, I certainly could) but it inspire me to create my own Mata-list. I was considering making my own list of their best albums but that seemed a little predictable and dull. Does anyone really care if I think the SF Seals' Nowhere is better than Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain?

So instead, I thought I'd present to you
The Top 10 Matador Records You Don't Own:

10 Yo La Tengo "Shaker"
I'm sure many of you own a good chunk of the albums Yo La Tengo have released on Matador, and possibly a few EPs and rarities collections as well. This seven inch was their first release for the label, arriving just a couple of months before the Painful album, and has unfortunately gone unnoticed by a lot of YTL fans. It's simply one of the finest songs from a band with too many great songs to count: a dark and menacing psych-tinged rocker blend that gives one reason to think the band was paying close attention to the material coming out of New Zealand's Xpressway label at the time. The band apparently thought quite highly of the song as well. They selected it as the first track on their Prisoners of Love career retrospective. Plus, the flip, a cover of Richard Thompson's "For Shame of Doing Wrong," aint bad either.

9 Come Eleven:Eleven
Probably the best album in the long career of Thalida Zedek (Live Skull, Uzi, Dangerous Birds). Teaming with Chris Brokaw, a brilliant guitarist whose work remains one of the underground's best kept secrets, probably helped. Together their guitars interlocked to chart dark and bluesy sonic territory explored by few before or since, with the rhythm section providing rock solid foundation and Zedek's raspy wail cutting through the maelstrom. Their surprisingly reverent cover of the Rolling Stones' "I Got the Blues" gave some clue as to a blueprint, but originals like "Off to One Side," "Sad Eyes" and "Fast Piss Blues" display a style and power that's utterly individual and totally compelling.

8 Bettie Serveert Palomine
There was brief period where it looked like Bettie Serveert might get swept up the the whole "women in rock" trend of the mid 90s. You have to wonder if a lot of people though singer/guitarist Carol van Dijk was "Bettie." In any case, it wasn't to be as the masses decided they'd rather listen to the insight offered by Meredith Brooks and Tracy Bonham. It's unsurprising as BS was far too subtle for the mainstream. A quick listen to the near-hit "Tomboy" provides evidence of that. Pop music often gets its potency from persona, immediate identification with the singer as protagonist. While blessed with a clearly gifted vocalist, the tune derives its power from the ensemble playing of the whole group, with subtle shifts in dynamics providing tension and release to frame van Dijk's warm and evocative voice. The band matches this feat throughout much of Palomine, and if their subsequent released never quite topped it, few bands have made an album as memorable.

7 Babylon Dance Band Four On One
This one takes some explaining. The Babylon Dance Band were one of the Midwest's earliest post-punk bands. After releasing a handful of singles the band split up and some members went on to achieve a modicum of fame as Antietam. In the mid 90s, for whatever reason, the original band reunited and recorded this album. Perhaps, there was just a sense of unfinished business, as this disc is more vibrant and immediate than anything Antietam did (to my ears at least). The band's unique combination of angular post-punk and subtle Americana underpinnings is surprisingly warm and moving, with singer Chip Nold sounding like Pere Ubu's David Thomas returning from the brink and forced to deal with human concerns. Had the band recorded and released this during their original run, one suspects that they'd be regarded along with Mission of Burma, the Embarrassment and Pylon as one of the greatest post-punk outfits the US has ever produced.

6 Railroad Jerk One Track Mind
Bios for Railroad Jerk jokingly(?) described the band as "industrial folk" but that description isn't that far off. Actually, it suffices fairly well for RJ's unique stew of New York noise, roots music and who-knows-what-else. Try to imagine the Voidoids jamming with the Band and you're maybe halfway there. The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion took a similar approach to deconstructing trad rock but while Spencer and co. may have gotten the accolades and sizable following, the truth is they never made an album this good.

5 Love Of Diagrams Mosaic
A much more recent release than most of the albums on this list, Mosaic never garnered as much attention as it should have. Nearly every time I'd play a song from it at one of my DJ gigs, someone inquired about who it was. And why wouldn't they? Aussie trio Love of Diagrams displayed rare musical empathy as players, creating a rich and nuanced sound that most faux-orchestral 7-piece indie rock outfits couldn't hope to match. And they rocked. Hard.

4 La Peste s/t
In their original incarnation, Boston's La Peste released exactly one single, the thundering classic "Better Off Dead." Their self-titled Matador release collections that single, and handful of demos and a 1979 live broadcast on WBCN. Taken together, they paint a portrait of absolute titans of US punk rock, on par with the Pagans or the Germs. Their songs are melodic and memorable, containing undeniable hooks and played with blinding speed and fury. Matador has released a handful of reissues during their 20 years, but this one is arguably the most revelatory and essential.

3 Bassholes Long Way Blues 1996-1998
Not even their best album (that would be the double LP When My Blue Moon Turns Red Again, released the same year on In The Red), this collection of home recordings is nonetheless one of the finest records of the 90s. Lo-fi before (or after?) that could be considered a selling point, the Ohio band rips through absolutely savage garage blues stompers like "She Shimmy Wobble" and "Turpentine" and it's not hard to imagine that they've had immediate contact with the fellow who tuned Robert Johnson's guitar. Others cuts, like "Angel of Death" and "Cabooseman Blues," are more quiet and intimate, which makes their profound weirdness all the more disturbing. It's tempting to claim to that the Bassholes two-man blues set precedent for the success of the White Stripes, but the truth is, despite Jack White's attempt to turn himself into some kind of living kabuki doll, the Stripes never recorded anything as nearly bent as this.

1 & 2 Silkworm Firewater and Developer
I've already written extensively about my love for Silkworm so doing so again would probably be awfully redundant. However, I will point out that these two records may well be the most essential in a discography that was consistently excellent and your record collection is incomplete without them.

This Shitty Decade: A Dry Run

(Justin or Kelly?)

We're just about 6 months away from the end of the 00s and we're hearing surprisingly little fanfare. Perhaps it's all coming in few months. Or it could be that the past ten years are something we're collectively trying to forget rather than recapitulate. In any case, I've been pondering a list of the best records of the decade that was and I've decided to share a preliminary list with you.

Albums are grouped according to cultural significance and will be ranked and dissected at a later date. I've not included any releases from this year or last as I'd like those to have a bit more time to sink in before determining long-term musical correctness. Certainly, some are likely to make the cut.

You are more than welcome to share your thoughts on any albums you think I've missed. This will likely result in me thanking you for reminding me or making fun of your terrible taste. Comment at your own risk.

Post-9/11 NYC Trust Fund Rock
The Strokes Is This It?
Interpol Turn on the Bright Lights

Better Refutations of W's America than John Kerry Offered
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists Hearts of Oak
The Thermals The Body, the Blood, the Machine

Stuck In The Garage Without the Motor Running
Dirtbombs Ultraglide in Black
White Stripes White Blood Cells
Reigning Sound Time Bomb High School

Punx Snot Dead
Jay Reatard Blood Visions
Marked Men Fix My Brain
Times New Viking Dig Yourself

Music on the iPod of Teenage Girls Who Have a Crush on Michael Cera
Belle & Sebastian The Life Pursuit
The Shins Oh, Inverted World
New Pornographers The Electric Version

Smart Pop UK
Sally Crewe and the Sudden Moves Drive It Like You Stole It
Futureheads s/t

Smart Rock North America
Destroyer Streethawk: A Seduction
The Oxford Collapse A Good Ground
Ponys Celebration Castle

Post-post-hardcore Shenanigans
Hot Snakes Automatic Midnight
Pissed Jeans Shallow

Radiohead Was Cribbing Notes But You Didn't Notice
Clinic Internal Wrangler
The Notwist Neon Golden

I can't help but notice I didn't include any of Spoon's four albums from the past decade here. They certainly deserve to be but I cannot at this time decide which of these albums is best. Once I'm told by a respected media outlet in their summary of the aughts, then I'll know for certain. I don't want to go out on a limb and look like a fool. Collective agreement is what having a blog is all about, right?

How to Advertise Creative Bankruptcy Part II

A few months back I wrote a post deriding the awful, awful names of a bunch of blog buzz bands. (Alliteration!) I recently had a inclination to do it once again and had been compiling a list of the more aesthetically offensive monikers gleaned from the various mass e-mails I get from publicists. However, I had an attack of ethics, reasoning that these were all relatively unknown bands just trying to get a little recognition. There must be much more deserving targets for my ridicule. Maybe Jamie Kennedy's Heckler affected me more than I realized. I want to be a creator like George Lucas, not a destroyer like all those guys who correctly state that George Lucas hasn't made a good film in the past 30 years.

This weekend I ran into Pop Tarts Suck Toasted's Pat Duffy and told him of my aborted idea. He told me (I'm paraphrasing) "All these bands have PR behind them so it's okay to trash them." So if anyone has any problems with anything I've written below, I'd encourage you to head on over to PTST and take it up with Pat. (His blog also includes MP3s of most of these tracks if you actually want to give these songs a listen.)

Deer Tick "Long Time"
Not technically a bad name but points get deducted for adding further confusion to the marketplace with another "Deer" band. (See Deerhunter, Deerhoof.) Sometimes I wonder if these bands just get popular due to misplaced name recognition. People hear "Oh that Deer-something band is supposed to be good" and check out the wrong group but decide they like it anyway because that's what's hip. Crystal Stilts, Crystal Castles, Crystal Antlers... I dunno but one of them got "Best New Music."

I'm aware that's a pretty cynical point of view but keep mind I live in a place that elected a guy named Molinaro directly after a guy named Molinari.

But I digress... the track itself is inoffensive NPR-indie with some country affectations. If that description captures your interest you should probably be reading another blog.

Radical Sons "I'm So Sick of the 21st Century"
I concur with the sentiment of the title but from the sounds of it these guys actually never heard a band who made a record before 2001. I would almost swear that I saw this band play Luna Lounge hoping to take the same career path as the Strokes or the Walkmen. Is that retro already?

Phil and the Osophers "High Art"
Oof. With a name like this, I'd expect these guys to be playing pre-grunge modern rock covers to drunken Rutgers students at some club on the Jersey shore. Do you guys know any Dramarama? What's Matt Pinfield like in real life? Surprisingly, this song aint that bad: minimal, clean and catchy with some garage accents that don't evoke mere 60s revivalism. Give it a listen if your physician recommends three and half minutes of moderate head bopping a day.

Sunset Rubdown "Idiot Heart"
Pretty decent facsimile of the more commercial branch of early 80s post-punk. If you told me this was a lost Grauzone track I'd probably believe you. I guess that's a compliment.

Previously on Lost "Be My Constant"
A bad name yes, though when I was making notes for bands to include in the piece I had no idea they were actually writing songs about Lost episodes. I don't know if that makes it better or worse. I like Lost as much as anybody but nothing about this homemade demi-prog gave me a deeper appreciation of Desmond and Penny's relationship. Plus, now I can't do my long promised surf band tribute to Jim Starlin's run on Warlock without it seeming like a opportunistic knockoff.

Genghis Tron "Blow Back"
There were a couple of dudes from my old college radio station were really into metal (usually served black) and gabber techno. I'm pretty sure they would find this totally weak and deride the band with some kind of homophobic slur. I don't condone that sort of intolerance but, in this case, I can't really argue.

Screaming Females "Starving Dog"
I bet these guys like Primus. That's all.

Paleontology for Dullards: Super Brevity Vindictive Edition

(Come on feel the nice)

So I've been ruining this "Paleontology for Dullards" feature, where I rate records I've found in used LP bins by assigning them a cash value, for a while now. No one cares, and I'm okay with that. However, I check out Chunklet Magazine's website yesterday and see they've posted something called The Under $7 Seventy, wherein they list 70 albums worth a listen that are readily available in used bins for seven dollars or under. Then I see a similar thread on the Terminal Boredom Message Board. Neither would bother me so much except:

A) Both have more comments than I've had for anything I've ever posted.

B) I'm still peeved at Chunklet for including, in their latest print issue, a bunch of jokes I made in their comments section without giving me any credit. (Though to be fair, it's really more about the glory than the credit.)

C) These guys are are just listing records. I'm writing full reviews here. Granted, they're reviews all of my dozen or so readers complain are too long and dense but I'm making an effort, dammit!

Thus, I've decided to one up them. Instead of just listing album titles or trying to string together coherent thoughts into paragraph, I've chosen the perfect middle ground: one sentence record reviews.

I think this method should work out well since no one really cares to read more than a sentence at a time in this day and age anyway. I'll readily admit some of the sentences are run-ons but no one cares about grammar anymore either.

(Oh, and please don't mention that I swiped this whole idea from Tim Midgett's $2.99 Wax Necessities in the first place. It's not online anymore and therefore you can't prove anything.)

The Damned Strawberries
First-gen punks show depth and don't suck at it as they later would.
Price Paid: $7 Rating: 85.7%

The Bee Gees Odessa
A very listenable double LP that doesn't quite live up to "lost classic" status but the red felt cover feels mighty nice.
Price Paid: $7 Rating: 100%

Stiff Little Fingers Go For It!
This album could be proof that the members of Rancid listen to bands other than the Clash.
Price Paid: $8 Rating: 75%

Dead Fingers Talk Storm the Reality Studios
Old dudes pose as punks with more credible results than the Police but not quite as exciting as those first two Stranglers albums.
Price Paid: $7 Rating: 71.4%

Melanie Candles in the Rain
The hippy-dippy anthem "Lay Down (Candles in the Rain)" is a pretty incredible song though I still prefer Strapping Fieldhands' version.
Price Paid: $3 Rating: 66.7%

Neil Young and Crazy Horse Re⋅ac⋅tor
Sludgy, long songs from Neil and the Horse that's far from his best work though "Shots" is an absolute killer.
Price Paid: $2 Rating: 100%

Celibate Rifles Mina Mina Mina
Yet further evidence that Australia is the second most rockin' continent in the world.
Price Paid: $3 Rating: 100%

To Damascus Come to Your Senses
Listening to the musical advice of Joe Carducci is not always a good idea.
Price Paid: $2 Rating: 50%

Green on Red s/t
Green on Red made this awesome EP for their debut then, like almost every other Paisley Underground band, had more or less negligible remainder of their recorded career (except for the Dream Syndicate, who made a full album before becoming negligible).
Price Paid: $8 Rating: 100%

Chris D/Divine Horsemen Time Stands Still
Knitters Poor Little Critter on the Road
Danny and Dusty The Lost Weekend
L.A. post-punks go Americana with varying results.
Chris D Price Paid: $3 Rating: 100%
Knitters Price Paid: $5 Rating: 80%
Danny and Dusty Price Paid: $5 Rating: 40%

Holly and the Italians The Right to Be Italian
Of all the albums I've purchased featuring artists who had a song on Rhino's DIY series, this is probably the least essential, and please note I own a Human Sexual Response album.
Price Paid: $5 Rating: 20%

Loudon Wainwright III Attempted Mustache
Within about ten seconds of the first cut it becomes evident that this guy is waaaaay better than his super annoying son.
Price Paid: $3 Rating: 100%

Midnight Oil Diesel and Dust
Commercial rock in the late 80s that's not totally toothless and is therefore commendable though being Australian helps.
Price Paid: $4 Rating: 50%

The Inhalants s/t
U.S. 90s garage punk that's extra dirty, extra simple, extra stupid and, therefore, extra tasty.
Price Paid: $2 Rating: 100%

Adult Net The Honey Tangle
It seems as though someone convinced Mark E Smith's ex-wife she's a member of the Bangles, which actually turned out to be a pretty good idea.
Price Paid: $3 Rating: 100%

Alan Vega Saturn Strip
The former member of Suicide, Ric Ocasek and Al Jourgensen (credited here as Alain) team up for an effort that's less than the sum of it's parts, though one could make the case that the Ministry association counts negatively towards the total.
Price Paid: $4 Rating: 50%

Big Dipper Slam
Major label debut that's much-maligned (and not included on the recent Supercluster collection) but sounds decent to my ears.
Price Paid: $2 Rating: 100%

Townes Van Zandt For the Sake of the Song
This just sold for 70 bucks on eBay and which means my investments are turning out better than most of the country's.
Price Paid: $8 Rating: 100%

Why I (sort of) Hate Radiohead

(Whither, Thom Yorke?)

I've been taken to task for my comments on this blog dissing Radiohead, including saying that they've ruined rock for an entire generation. I may have been slightly exaggerating for effect. Still, they have a lot to answer for.

This isn't to say I think Radiohead is terrible or anything. They're just not my cup of tea and never have been. I first heard the band like pretty much every one else. "Creep" was a song that captured the zeitgeist of those self-effacing 90s so totally that I fully expected them to fade once the alt-rock trend petered out. However, it turned out the band was more talented than, say, Local H, and a few years later the band released their "masterpiece," OK Computer. I had a d-bag roommate at the time who played that album constantly which might be part of the reason I never took it. That tidbit notwithstanding, those Pink Floyd comparisons were probably a lot more right on than anyone wanted to admit at the time. Subsequent albums impressed many with how adventurous and challenging they were but it might have just seemed that way to listeners who probably grew up listening to Green Day and Weezer. When the band released In Rainbows, a friend asked me what I thought of it and I said I hadn't heard it. He wanted to know why since I could just download it for free, my reply being that if I wasn't willing to pay for it, I probably didn't want to listen to it that badly anyway.

Of course, taste is subjective, and it might be that Radiohead's musical values are simply at odds with mine. They're a band that favors calculation over immediacy, sound over songwriting, grandiosity over intimacy and histrionics over subtlety. I'm more than willing to admit that they apply these values to their music as well as or better than anyone and it's not as though those other elements are totally absent but, again, not my cup of tea. And when I hear those values picked up by other bands who don't have the ability of Radiohead, it makes for some rough listening. I'm reminded of a comment one of the members of Slayer made about 80s hair metal in some VH1 documentary (I'm paraphrasing): "It's like Van Halen turned up to 100... but in all the wrong directions." Similarly, one could make the case the past decade or so of independent rock has been Radiohead turned up to 100 and in all wrong directions.

How many times have we heard variations on the riff from "No Surprises," a song that aims to be ethereal but winds up sort of plodding?

How many times do we have to hear some motherfucker try and sing like Thom Yorke? He has the pipes to pull it off. Most don't. And when someone tries to sing in that style and they can't.... man, it's like stepping on a cat while wearing cleats.

How many bands, following Radiohead's example, have misguidedly turned to electronics and atmosphere when they wanted to expand their sound (or were just out of ideas) despite being novices or perhaps clueless about electronic music in general?

And, of course, there's fucking Coldplay.

The above might seem a little harsh. Radiohead undoubtedly has more than a few affecting songs in their catalog. Plus, their willingness to not always take the easiest path to success, whether it be the "pay what you want" digital release of In Rainbows or simply not repeating formula, is quite commendable. One could even make the case that since I'm not intimately familiar with the band's oeuvre, I'm in no position to judge. (And they might be right.) However, as someone who grew up on indie rock, I definitely saw huge shift in the scene around the time OK Computer was released. Until then, even more studied bands like Pavement and Slint were somewhat punk-derived and the DIY ethos of punk were still quite prevalent in indie rock. Then suddenly, Johnny Rotten's "(I Hate) Pink Floyd" t-shirt meant nothing. I'm not claiming that indie music prior to OK Computer's massive influence is inherently superior but it did seem like most of the ideas and values that attracted me to underground rock in the first place were falling by the wayside. Sterile, NPR-approved rock was the new vanguard.

I'm aware one could make the same argument about any band who've influenced a lot of junk through no real fault of their own, including the Beatles. Truth be told, I'm not super crazy about them either.

What the Kids Thought Was Great in 2008

(Hint: it definitely wasn't SSD.)

I posted my best of 2008 list on Friday and the general reaction I got from my friends over the weekend was "I didn't I know any of the bands on your list." Or alternately "I didn't I know any of the bands on your list except for one," the Vivian Girls being the exception. My retort probably should have been "Well, I didn't know any of them either until someone told me about them" thus casually diffusing any implications of cultural elitism. Unfortunately, I didn't think to say that until just now.

One friend told me I should do another top ten but this time list records people know, which is sort of an odd proposition. Hey guys, I know I told you the stuff I really like but just to let you know I'm with it here's a bunch of records you're already familiar with, shuffled into a slightly different order than all the other year-ends you've been reading. I actually thought it would kind of funny to do just that and denounce my previous list as being too snobby or perhaps imply that none of its bands actually exist other than in my mind. However, as with most things I think are funny, I run a huge risk of no one but me getting the joke.

My ultimate decision was to give my thoughts on the top ten tracks of the year as decided by the folks at Pitchfork Media, who are as good a barometer for what the kids listen to nowadays as any. I purposely avoided reading the write-ups of each track as to not have the opinion of the author sway my thought process in any direction. I hadn't heard most of these songs until I listened to them just now, or if I had I didn't really know who the artist was. That doesn't make me better than you or anything. It just means that we have different interests and tastes. Stop being so insecure, goddammit.

10: Estelle "American Boy"
I like this song. I've heard it many times at clubs/bars/wherever-guys-with-laptops-"DJ." It's readymade-for-the-dancefloor pop fluff but it's good pop fluff. It's involving and memorable and it doesn't insult the listener's intelligence. I still might like "Single Ladies" (Number 23 on the Pitchfork list) better though.

09: Portishead "Machine Gun"
Even at their mid-90s peak, I was never a fan of Portishead. That "Nobody Loves Me" song was pretty ubiquitous back then and it was decent enough aural wallpaper. This song however is a thoroughly unpleasant listen and not in a good Electric Eels-kind of way. Some might call that "challenging" but to my ears it's just kind of repetitive and lazy-sounding.

08: Air France "Collapsing at Your Doorstep"
Songs like this are fodder for my theory that most music fans these days mainly use music to provide a non-distracting soundtrack to dozing off on the subway. I'm sure there will be more examples before we get to the end of the list.

07: Cut Copy "Hearts on Fire"
I heard a friend of a friend of mine play Cut Copy at a BBQ this past summer and I remember liking one of their songs. It might have been this one but the fact that I'm listening to it and still don't remember if it was or wasn't is probably not a good sign. Is there any way I can possibly discuss this song without mentioning New Order? I suppose it was inevitable that hipster band emulation of Joy Division a few years back would be followed by NO copyists. There are worse sources of inspiration to be sure but this cut reminds be more of New Order's post-Technique output than their 80s peak. And it's not even half as good as "Regret."

06: Deerhunter "Nothing Ever Happened"
I know more than a few people whose opinions on music I respect that dig Deerhunter plenty. However, when I first checked out the band a while back via the cuts on their myspace page, they didn't make much of an impression and I never bothered to explore further. I gotta say though, this song is pretty good. Good enough to make me want to check out the rest of the album. I'll get right to that after I'm done listening the rest of the dozen or so albums in my "I guess I missed this one" pile.

05: M83 "Kim & Jessie"
Sounds a bit like the Brains' original version of "Money Changes Everything" crossed with Flock of Seagulls' "Wishing (If I Had a Photograph of You)." And we all know what prolific, artistically-rewarding careers those bands had. An attractive, lush sound but I wish that the band would have been kind enough to provide something in the way of a hook as well.

04: Santogold "L.E.S. Artistes"
Eh.

03: Hot Chip "Ready for the Floor"
I like Hot Chip's song "Boy From School." Nothing else they've done has impressed me very much. This is no exception.

02: Fleet Foxes "White Winter Hymnal"
This is the band that also won PFM's best album of 2008, a choice so controversial that even noted Pitchfork apologist blog A New Nuance publicly disagreed. (A move that's somewhat like Martin Luther nailing his 95 Theses to the door of the Schlosskirche.) I've actually never heard the band myself. I heard someone describe them as "they're kind of like My Morning Jacket but not as good" and that was enough to keep me far, far away. However, when I read Popmatters' Joe Tacopino say that on this album they "reinvent themselves as Hüsker Dü," it made me somewhat intrigued. Um, Joe, are you sure you're aren't confusing Fleet Foxes with a completely different band? You know, one that sounds like Hüsker Dü? Because this sounds like the Shins covering the O Brother Where At Thou? soundtrack.

01: Hercules and Love Affair "Blind"
This is the best song of the year? Really? Really? If I wanted to hear a shitty version of Blur's "Girls and Boys," there's plenty of examples on YouTube.

How to Advertise Creative Bankruptcy

It's simple, really. Just give your band a terrible name.

I was looking through the very popular and useful Pop Tarts Suck Toasted blog yesterday and noticed how many bands nowadays have awful, awful names. Not that a bad name automatically means bad music. (I am a fan of the Bassholes, after all.) But the old "judging a book by its cover" axiom isn't exactly true either. If one is going to show the poor taste and judgment of giving his or her band a shitty name doesn't it stand to reason that the same taste and judgment is not going to produce worthwhile music? Nine times out of ten, it's probably the case. Unfortunately, there are only seven examples below (all culled from MP3s provided by PTST, click on over there if you want to give them a listen) so that tenth time looks to be beyond our grasp. I was sincerely hoping that at least one of these acts would transcend their moniker but...

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart "Everything With You"
Fey, kissyface pop with a heavy Smiths influence. Actually, "pop" might be too strong a word as most pop music has hooks. Pleasant enough though the group doesn't really transcend their (obvious) influences. Coming soon to the soundtrack of a Juno ripoff.

Iran "Buddy"
Michener rock! Speaking of bad names, this is apparently TV on the Radio-related. I'm not a fan of TVotR but nothing I've heard of theirs is anywhere as dull as this. Honestly, this is barely a song and the lackadaisical Malkmus-derived vocals aren't helping matters.

Fake Male Voice "OMG!!!FMV!!!"
Also TV on the Radio-related! Could pass for a Prince deep cut though the purple one does have some rather, um, idiosyncratic ideas regarding quality control. Sexy enough to get you laid under the influence of the right drugs (I'm thinking paint thinner) though the apple chewing during the coda kind of ruins the mood.

Fight Bite "Swissex Lover"
Intro recalls one of the "songs" one could make a on and old Casio by letting it play in bossa nova or waltz mode and changing keys every so often. Then the vocals kick in. Did I say "kick?" I meant "prance." Rivals above Iran track for dubious claims to songhood. And it's like twice as long! Or just seems that way.

Dream Bitches "Bad Luck Bill"
New wave-y garage pop with female vox similar to that dog. Aggressively catchy but gets repetitive and wears out its welcome before the second verse. Cute quickly devolves into annoying sort of like Raven-Symoné during her Cosby years.

Blitzen Trapper "Gold for Bread"
Imagine Tom Petty was less interested in writing songs than making in weird noises. Then imagine his talent was sucked out through his eye socket by Jeff Lynne. Points added or deducted for "Mississippi Queen"-esque guitar tone.

Dent May & his Magnificent Ukulele! "Meet Me in the Garden"
Sample lyric: "The softest boy in Mississippi/Would like to know/Why you're so pretty/Whoa whoa." Yes, he rhymed "know" with "whoa." No, I'm not fucking kidding. Definite Brian Wilson (and possible Bacharach) fixation but doesn't have the skills or the pipes to pull off anything more than a pale imitation. If there's anything worse than dumb guys who think they're smart it's guys who try and sing even though they can't. I bet he gets all kinds of action from the ladies though.

Okay, I'll admit the above is sort of mean and probably proves the Staten Island Advance correct in calling me a jerk. (Though a winning jerk.) These are all fairly small bands trying to get a little recognition. They're the little guys, the Joe the Plumbers of the indie world, and here I am maligning them for no good reason. That is, of course, unless you consider trying to prevent my readership from stumbling into bad music a good reason.

Presumably numbers 904 to 933

It's been brought to my attention that last couple of posts (excluding the half-assed Rudy Ray Moore obit though I did beat the New York Times by 2 days) have been seething with negativity and loathing for my fellow man.

While it's easy to criticize (and fun too!) I'm not here to be divisive or make my many readers feel like lesser beings because of their musical choices. I'm here to to share the music I love with the world. Can you feel the love, people? Anyone want a hug?

Thus, I bring you, in no particular order, the 30 best albums that did not make KEXP listeners' top 903 albums list. These albums are all great to brilliant (or 4 and 1/2 to 5 starts, if you prefer) and deserve to be in your collection. All are from artists not included on the list in any capacity. This is because a) nitpicking which Kinks album is best is a subject for another post and b) I'm going to assume that most anyone who likes Sonic Youth will pick up Bad Moon Rising eventually. (Though I'm probably wrong.)

Please note: I am not judging the KEXP listenership for the exclusions of below albums even though you would think a Pacific Northwest station would show some love to Greg Sage and the Wipers or at least have enough Cobain acolytes to be hip to the Raincoats. I just hope they all somehow find their way to my little corner of the blogosphere and discover these musical treasures. And hey, they did have the good taste to include The Dream Syndicate's The Days of Wine and Roses, so who am I to judge?

Real Kids s/t
The Soft Boys Underwater Moonlight
Flesh Eaters A Minute to Pray a Second to Die
The Saints Eternally Yours
Angry Samoans Back From Samoa
The Bats Daddy's Highway
The Fall This Nation's Saving Grace
The Embarrassment Death Travels West
Flipper Generic
Descendents Milo Goes to College
The Feelies Crazy Rhythms
Prisonshake The Roaring Third
The Wipers Over the Edge
The Gun Club Fire of Love
Silkworm Firewater
X Ray Spex Germfree Adolescents
The Pretty Things S.F. Sorrow
The Zombies Odessey and Oracle
Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers L.A.M.F.
Michael Hurley, Unholy Modal Rounders, Jeffery Fredrick and the Clamtones Have Moicy!
Tommy Keene Songs From the Film
Dag Nasty Can I Say
Pere Ubu The Modern Dance
The Raincoats s/t
The Rip Offs Got a Record
Jay Reatard Blood Visions
Ponys Celebration Castle
Reigning Sound Time Bomb High School
Sally Crewe and the Sudden Moves Drive it Like You Stole It
Roy Wood Boulders

And to put my money where my mouth is here a guarantee: If any of you go to the WFMU Record Fair in New York this weekend, buy one of these albums and don't like it, I will buy it from you at the cost you paid for it. Offer good on LPs only!!

Moderate Rock Made Easy

...or Further Proof that Radiohead has Ruined Music for an Entire Generation.

Just after my post on Wednesday about the editors of Pitchfork's attempt to stick it to Jann Wenner, I learned that Seattle's KEXP radio made their own attempt at a definitive list of the music enjoyed by dull young white people. However, this list was voted on by their listeners rather than dictated by the powers that be (whomever that might be). Of course, one could make the case that the opinions of the listeners are informed by, altered and inseparably linked to decisions of the programmers, be it those at KEXP, PFM or elsewhere. This begs examination of the relationship between source and target, the ideas of collective agreement and perhaps even the fundamental flaws in democracy itself.

I was going to write a lengthy analysis of the list tackling these issues but instead I'll just post the following excerpt which I think you'll agree explains it all:

Eating a Dead Horse

...or A 6.8 out of 10 in Canon-Defining.

Come November 11th, the world will be groaning audibly.

Bashing Pitchfork is about as tired and pointless as reading Pitchfork so I'll give them this: at least they had the decency to release this on the Tuesday after the election thus insuring that a large percentage of the Obama-voting populace would not be staying at home, writing angry message board posts debating the placement of Neutral Milk Hotel.

For what it's worth, I'll still take Rock, Rot or Rule as the ultimate argument settler regarding all matters musical.

If I have my nose turned in the air...

...it's only because I'd rather not look you in the eye.


As the Staten Island Advance has seen fit to remind me, I'm have sometimes described myself as a snob when it comes to the rock stuff. Of course, I've been called a snob many times before I started calling myself one. The first instance was probably during my teen years when a classmate vehemently called me a snob for saying that Unrest was better than Pennywise. (I'm not sure if history has proven me right on that one.) It's happened recently as well. The editor of A New Nuance chided me as a snob for not particularly looking forward to the second Arcade Fire record and saying that I found Clap Your Hands Say Yeah as "dull as dishwater." (In case you don't remember, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah was a band briefly popular in 2005.)

Using the historically tested method in identity politics of turning a negative into a positive, I decided to adopt the word for myself thus negating its derogatory power. (i.e. "Snob" is my N-word.)

What's fascinating to me is how well it's worked. Almost too well. When people call me a snob, it's a pejorative. When I call my self one, I'm self-aggrandizing even if I mean it in a tongue in cheek, self-effacing way.

When I tell a friend I don't enjoy a particular artist he or she likes, I'll follow it up with "But I'm snob, so, you know..." I don't mean this to imply that I have better taste than anyone else and can't be bothered with your inferior myopic nonsense. I mean that I have a huge personality defect that makes me very particular and judgmental about music generally made with guitars so heed not and listen to what you like.

A similar point was made in this week's Popless column over at the Onion AV Club. Noel Murray writes:

It's odd how defensive people get when they mention certain bands or movies, like, "I know people will jump on me for this, but I really like Groundhog Day," or "I hate to admit it, but The Bee Gees have some good songs." There's an assumption being made, that the world at large has agreed that some things are meant to be taken seriously, while others are "guilty pleasures" (or just plain "suck").

(For the record, Groundhog Day is a great film and the Bee Gees have some outstanding songs, particularly on their first few albums. However, the band Murray mainly uses to illustrate his point in the introductory essay is Steely Dan, who are awful. But that's neither here nor there.)

I've often wondered the same thing. Why do people get so apologetic for liking Justin Timberlake or Amy Winehouse or even the Killers? They sell millions and millions of records! Tons of people like them! I'm the one who likes the wacky fringe shit! I should be apologizing for contemplating if if the Disco Zombies song "Drums Over London" is racist or simply sung in character. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, that's exactly my point.)

For all these reasons I've decided that I need stop referring to myself as a "rock snob." (Also because the other "self-described music snob" in the AWE piece likes these guys thus proving the term totally ineffectual at conveying my personal taste.)

I may have to go on a little hiatus from this blog until I come up with a better term to describe what kind of music I cover here. (And not because I'm going to be really busy with work and other things for the next week or so). The best I can come up with so far is "dumb smart guy rock." Can you do any better? Please share.

Speaking of "dumb smart guy rock" I was lucky enough to catch Thee Oh Sees and Sic Alps at Brooklyn's favorite illegal performance space/sauna on Sunday night. So good were they, I briefly forgot about the awful, stomach-turning events of that afternoon. Their respective 2008 releases, The Master's Bedroom Is Worth Spending A Night In and US EZ, are highly recommended.

Also highly recommended for those in the New York City area is the Tyvek/Thomas Function show at Cakeshop this Friday, October 3rd. This marks the first time that two of the bands from this blog's "Make This Band Your Myspace Friend" feature have played together in New York. (Especially noteworthy since I've only done the feature 4 times.) Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it as I'll be attending a wedding but don't let that stop you from going. In fact, you might have a better time without my presence. I can be a bit of a snob from what I hear.

50 Things I Love About Comics

Though I usually devote this blog to rock music geekery rather than comic book geekery I happened across a pair of top 50 lists at The Savage Critics and got inspired.

What can I say? It was a slow day at work.

1 Buddy Bradley
2 Getting excited when a friend is reading Watchmen for the first time
3 Bendis/Maleev's dialog-free issue of Daredevil
4 Miss Misery, the epitome of the "that gal is trouble" archetype used in what seems like all of Ed Brubaker's stories
5 Batman vs Superman fight in the Justice League New Frontier Special
6 Gotham Central
7 Smax explaining that a vision of a three-headed woman with a serpent's tale holding a flaming sword and a human heart is not sign that he's supposed to go on a quest but an "atmospheric phenomena"
8 Spider-Man trapped under heavy machinery
9 Astro City
10 The repeated humiliation/mutilation of Herr Starr
11 Joe Matt's pornography woes
12 Warpsmiths
13 David Mazzucchelli
14 Sensual Santa
15 The opening sequence to the first issue of Suicide Squad wherein super villains really fuck shit up for once
16 The Eltingville Comic-Book, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Role-Playing Club
17 The before and after "yearbook photos" in Black Hole
18 The brightly colored but eerie psychedelic landscape of Jim Woodring's Frank
19 The Amazing Screw-On Head
20 The predestination paradox denouement of the "Story of the Year" arc in Supreme
21 The repulsive yet somehow adorable recurring characters in Kaz's Underworld
22 That the Acme Novelty Library is so formally and aesthetically stunning and evocative that I keep coming back for more even though I find it invariably depressing
23 Ivan Brunetti's "humor" comics
24 Henry Hotchkiss
25 This "What If Harvey Pekar got super powers?" web comic by Gregg Schigiel
26 Jim Steranko's pop art-inspired work for Marvel in the 60s
27 "You don't get it, boy. This isn't a mudhole. It's an operating table. And I'm the surgeon."
28 Darkseid's cameo on the last page of each issue of the original Ambush Bug mini-series accompanied by the (unfulfilled) promise that the following issue would be "When Titans Clash!"
29 Jules Feiffer
30 Drew Friedman's caricatures
31 Concrete's neuroses
32 Why I Hate Saturn
33 Seeing Jen Grunwald's name when I open a Marvel book (Hi Jen!)
34 Continuity bean counters loitering in any given comic shop
35 J. Jonah Jameson
36 Mike Carey's Crossing Midnight
37 Adam Warlock stealing the soul of his future self using the vampiric soul gem on his forehead (don't ask)
38 The insane Mr Fantastic pastiche talking to his "invisible" wife in Marshall Law Takes Manhattan
39 The Green Lantern Oath
40 Peter Bagge's under appreciated Sweatshop
41 Reading old Life in Hell strips and marveling that a mind that irreverent could create one of the biggest institutions in popular culture
42 Shamrock Squid
43 Chester Brown's The Playboy
44 The fact that I know anyone with a decal of Calvin peeing on something is going straight to hell
45 Dennis Eichhorn
46 Wimbledon Green
47 Pictopia!
48 Douglas Wolk and Scott McCloud discussing the medium intelligently
49 Back issues of Weirdo on sale for the original cover price
50 Knowing that the artist for The New Yorker's post-9/11 cover and the creator of Garbage Pail Kids are the same person

(Editor's Note: I just noticed that aside from the Sensual Santa there is nary a mention of Daniel Clowes here and do I love Daniel Clowes. Maybe he should remind me how much I love him by, oh I don't know, PUTTING OUT ANOTHER COMIC BOOK!)

Ghost in the Machine: The Unblinking Ear on Temporary Hiatus

About one week ago my home computer went kaput. Further examination yielded the knowledge that my motherboard was "fried." Thus, until I get myself a new machine (hopefully, sometime next week) the only place I have computer access is from my workplace. Since they generally don't take too kindly to me posting nonsense on my blog when I should be working, you probably won't see any updates from me for a little while.

To temporarily satiate your desire for new bloggin's from yours truly, here's my personal take on something that's been making the rounds of late:
List your favorite record from every year you’ve been alive.

This was a bit harder than I thought it would be.

Some years had several strong candidates. (Slates, Fire of Love, A Minute to Pray a Second to Die all in the same year?!?!)

Others had precious few. (1994 had Bee Thousand, Bakesale and at least two of three other contenders. 95? Not so much.)

Some had records I listened to constantly at the time but have rarely dropped the needle on since. (Sugar's Copper Blue, anyone?)

And, of course, there were a few years there were my personal qualification as a living human was shaky at best.

Anyway, here's the list. Feel free to call into question my taste or sincerity on any of the below selections:

1977 Wire Pink Flag
78 The Saints Eternally Yours
79 The Clash London Calling
80 The Feelies Crazy Rhythms
81 The Fall Slates
82 Angry Samoans Back From Samoa
83 The Embarrassment Death Travels West
84 The Minutemen Double Nickels on the Dime
85 Hüsker Dü New Day Rising
86 Tommy Keene Songs From the Film
87 The Clean Compilation (sort of cheating, but as their first US release I feel it qualifies)
88 Sonic Youth Daydream Nation
89 Barbara Manning Lately I Keep Scissors
90 Yo La Tengo Fakebook
91 Nirvana Nevermind
92 Sebadoh Smash Your Head on the Punk Rock
93 Prisonshake The Roaring Third
94 Guided By Voices Bee Thousand
95 Railroad Jerk One Track Mind
96 Silkworm Firewater
97 Yo La Tengo I Can Hear the Heart Beating As One
98 Cat Power Moon Pix
99 Sleater-Kinney The Hot Rock
2000 The White Stripes De Stijl
01 The Dirtbombs Ultraglide in Black
02 Reigning Sound Time Bomb High School
03 Sally Crewe and the Sudden Moves Drive It Like You Stole It
04 The Futureheads s/t
05 Ponys Celebration Castle
06 Jay Reatard Blood Visions
07 Tyvek Fast Metabolism
08 Thomas Function Celebration

Because I feel the need to blog at least once a month

If any of you are interested there was a blurb about me in the Staten Island Advance's entertainment section last week which you can read here. Yes, I'm one of many on an "Island of DJs" though unlike many of the others, I own a turntable. I actually had a long conversation via telephone with the piece's author, Ben Johnson, a few days prior to the article's publication. We touched on such subjects as records that weren't well known but could still get people dancing, the phenomenom of the exclusively-playing-MP3s iDJ and many other things. Unfortunately, he only wrote about the the first 5 or so songs I thought of when asked what were good dancefloor-filling crowd pleasers. Of course, if I had bothered to return his message days prior it might have allowed for him to write a piece where I don't don't seem like a hacky Bar Mitzvah DJ. Mea culpa, Ben.

In any case, I did write later write up a more balanced mini-playlist that probably better reflects what I play but probably sent it to him past deadline:

1. New Order "Blue Monday"
2. Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five "White Lines (Don't Do It)"
3. Prince "Erotic City"
4. Pigbag "Papa's Got a Brand New Pigbag"
5. Fugazi "Waiting Room"
6. The Misfits "Last Caress"
7. The Pretty Things "Come See Me"
8. David Bowie "Watch That Man"
9. The Futureheads "Decent Days and Nights"
10. James "Laid"

Eh, that's not really a great list either.

If you have the desire to hear me play all, some or none of these songs, I'll be DJing this Saturday night at the Cargo Cafe on Staten Island. I'm really hoping this gig will lead to getting me some tracks on the next Ghostface record. Somebody tell him to come out please.

Since I haven't posted here in a while, I thought I'd grace you all with some random thoughts (or, more accurately, gripes).

One of benefits of working in an office with people who do not share my musical tastes is that I get to hear all kinds of music I wouldn't normally listen to because I assume it's terrible. Usually my assumptions are correct and in the case of the Mars Volta they turn out to be even worse than thought they might be. Seriously, while my co-worker was playing their new album I though we were listening to Helloween or something. I had heard they were kind of "proggy" but i figured they were like math rock or something not unlistenable mess I heard. They are now a nominee for my award for worst current band in the universe. If anyone wants to defend them (or nominate other bands) the comments section is below.

Did anyone catch the commerical during the Super Bowl for the upcoming Adam Sandler movie Don't Mess with the Zohan? I had to do a double take to make certain it wasn't a spin off movie of John Turturro's character in The Big Lebowski.



Actually under further examination it seems to be ripping off Borat more than The Jesus. IMBD tells me that Judd Apatow is the co-writer which means one of three things:

1) It isn't the total piece of garbage I'm assuming it is and is actually very funny in a silly Anchorman kind of way
2) Someone bought a Judd Apatow script and turned it into an Adam Sandler vehicle. (After all wasn't I Now Pronounce Chuck and Larry written by the guys who wrote Sideways?)
3) My opinion of Judd Apatow is way too high

Finally, in a non-griping, rather delightful tidbit, I suggest you check out the latest edition of Kaplan's Korner.

The Unblinking Ear's 2007 in review

Or 2007: The year indie rock officially became the music of choice for 21 year old girls who use the flowers tattooed on their hip or lower back as the default photo on their myspace profile.



(Picture taken from the comments section of Band of Horses' myspace page)

The 2007 playlist
Tvyek "Air Conditioner"
Love of Diagrams "Pace or the Patience"
The Laureates "Witching Boots"
Spoon "You Got Yr Cherry Bomb"
Bottomless Pit "Dead Man's Blues"
New Pornographers "Myriad Harbor"
The Ponys "1209 Seminary"
Mannequin Men "Pigpen"
Black Lips "O Katrina"
The Intelligence "The Outer Echelon"
Times New Viking "Devo and Wine"
Residual Echoes "Fresh Eyes"
Shellac "Be Prepared"
Blonde Redhead "Spring and By Summer Fall"
LCD Soundsystem "Someone Great"
M.I.A. "Paper Planes"
Wooden Shjips "We Ask You to Ride"
White Hills "Spirit of Exile"
The Magik Markers "Taste"
Lamps "Now that I'm Dead"
Jay Reatard "I Know a Place"
Pissed Jeans "I Still Got You (Ice Cream)"
Dinosaur Jr "Back to Your Heart"
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists "C.I.A."
The Marked Men "It's Not a Crime"

Play or Download The Unblinking Ear's Best of 2007 Playlist

Piece of vinyl that floored me the most this year upon needle hitting the wax: Tyvek Summer Burns EP

Album I listened to more than any other this year: Love of Diagrams Mosaic. An excellent record that I'm also going to give the "Most lazy and misguided references to Gang of Four in its reviews by oblivious 'rock' 'critics'" award. Seriously guys, have you never heard another band with jagged guitar on top and a tight and heavy rhythm section? You're writing about music for a living and your palette is that limited?

Album I thought was just OK at first but a month later I couldn't stop listening to it: Spoon Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga. I actually do the same thing for every Spoon album. You'd think I'd learn by now.

Album I'm going to strongly recommend even though none of you are going to listen to me: Bottomless Pit Hammer of the Gods. I've been plugging Silkworm for a decade and none of you have cared. Why would you start now?

Song I heard on Evan "Funk" Davies show on WFMU and immediately thought "I must have this": The Laureates "Witching Boots." MP3s of all the songs from the Laureates' 4 song 7" EP are available for free on their website but I was so floored by this track I needed it in a hard format as well. Anytime I've played it for anyone since they've immediately perked up with "Who is this?" Yes, it's that good. Go show them some love.

Song a friend told me about while standing in line for the Simpsons Movie which I had never heard at that point and teased her that I didn't believe it actually existed and thus culture forcefully proved me wrong over the next few months: Rhianna "Umbrella" Ella, ella

Reunion album that I (and probably everyone else) was surprised was as good as it was: Dinosaur Jr Beyond

Only active punk rocker who could make me spend $9 on his mail order only 4 song 12 inch: Jay Reatard

I just don't get it at all award: Band of Horses. Was there some kind of clamoring for an emoesque retread of C-list 90s alt-rock? Could the Eels not be persuaded to reunite?

I get it but I just don't care at all award: Feist and Arcade Fire (tie)

Already exhausted topic most likely to be discussed and dissected ad infinitum in this year's Pazz and Jop poll: Radiohead's In Rainbows only available as "pay what you want" digital download. Runner up: The nationality, ethnicity and gender of M.I.A.

Record I liked just fine but made me wish the other guy was still in the band: The Ponys Turn the Lights Out

Band I really wanted to like but couldn't make it work: Prinzhorn Dance School, you're a swell gal and I'm sure you'll find the right guy for you. Runner Up: Panda Bear

Song I really liked from an album which otherwise did little for me award: The National "Mistaken for Strangers" from Boxer. Maybe because it's the only song on the record with a backbeat

The marginally talented masquerading as the marginally interesting in order to be beloved by the marginally intelligent award: Dan Deacon

The "maybe my math is wrong but wouldn't these fit on one CD?" award: Robert Pollard's Coast to Coast Carpet of Love and Standard Gargoyle Decisions. Even if they couldn't, maybe Bob could actually edit out a song or two for once in his career to make them fit?

The "I like your old records and I'm glad you're still making music. I just have no desire to listen to your new album. It's not you. It's me" award: The White Stripes. Runner-up: Interpol

The most undeserved backlash award: The Shins. People should really be focusing that negative energy on Zach Braff instead.

Disappointing reissue of the year: The Piper at the Gates of Dawn (40th Anniversary 3-CD Deluxe Edition). Thanks for the mono version. That is very swell of you. And joining those early singles to the album (finally) was a great idea. But come on guys, no "Vegetable Man" and "Scream Thy Last Scream?" How about throwing "Jugband Blues" on there for good measure? None of those oft bootlegged early demos? For a $40 list price and plenty of leftover room on the 3 CDs (by my math, something like 118 minutes!), is it too much to ask for one stop shopping for all Barrett-era Floyd? If you're not going to clean out the vaults now, then when?

Best 18 minute plus song of the year: Fucked Up "Year of the Pig." Not to sound too hyperbolic but it could it be the best 18 minute plus rock song of all time? Seriously, name one that's better. And please don't say "Echoes."

Video of the year: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists "Coleen"



Comedy album of the year: Paul F. Tompkins Impersonal Runners Up: Patton Oswalt Werewolves and Lollipops, Scharpling and Wurster The Art of the Slap, Michael Ian Black I am a Wonderful Man

Best record made by a band with the initials MM: Marked Men Fix My Brain. Comes so close to the kind of cloying pop punk I usually detest but these guys manage to hit the mark perfectly. If I was 16 years old they would probably be my favorite band in the world. (Okay, I'd probably still like Jay Reatard more.) Runners Up: Magik Markers Boss, Mannequin Men Fresh Rot

Record that makes Times New Viking sound like Journey: Der TPK Harmful Emotions

Band I was actually disappointed was comprised of very attractive women: The Long Blondes. I adored their early singles and thought last year's debut full length (released in the US this year) was quite good. With their lovelorn and seemingly gender conscious lyrics I pictured them as being slightly homely English women like, oh I don't know, the Raincoats. However, it seems as though all the woman in the band are quite high on the doability scale. Just take a look at singer Kate Jackson and bassist Reenie Hollis:



Not only that but it turns out the dude guitarist is responsible for most of the lyrics. Somehow I feel gypped.

Record that give me an overwhelming urge to stare at a lava lamp even while stone cold sober: Wooden Shjips s/t Runner up: White Hills Glitter Glamour Atrocity

Good band whose fairly terrible name made me hold off on listening to them for too long: The Intelligence

Band most likely to own an original pressing of the Huns' "Busy Kids" single: The Lamps. Runners Up: Pissed Jeans

Most Dependable Label Award: In the Red. There was a time when I only thought of these guys as the folks who put out the Jon Spencer jukebox singles (collected this year on Jukebox Explosion). Now they are they are pretty much synonymous with quality, no-bullshit rock n roll. The label not only released the aforementioned records from Jay Reatard, the Lamps and the Intelligence but also fine efforts from Miss Alex White and her Orchestra, Mark Sultan and others. Plus, when they screwed up my mail order they not only sent me the correct record with an apology and no hassle but told me to keep the record they accidentally sent me as well. What a bunch of swell guys!! Runners Up: S-S, What's Your Rupture?, Dusty Medical

Best record to hold you over until the Reigning Sound make a new album: Goodnight Loving Crooked Lake (though in all honesty last year's Greg Cartwright-produced Cemetery Trails was even better)

Record I'm looking forward to most in 2008: Apparently the Oxford Collapse are working on some kind of 30 song double album. Hopefully available in time for the Big Dipper reunion. Runners Up: New efforts from Times New Viking and Sally Crewe and the Sudden Moves.

Record or band mentioned above about which I reserve the right to change my mind: All of them

The Best!!!

In light of many saying that I'm totally negative misanthropic asshole (a half truth at best) I thought I'd compile a list of people, places or things I think are the best. Not that might be the best but are the best, indisputably. Please read and enjoy. You may comment with a contrary opinion if you wish but serve to display your ignorance or lack of taste.

The best band with a really terrible name: The Bassholes
The best syllable to begin a word: "imp"
The best Arnold Schwarzenegger one-liner: "Let off some steam, Bennett!!" from Commando
The best show on WFMU: The Best Show on WFMU
The best way to appreciate 80s hair metal: as a moment of mass cultural retardation
The best punk rock song about statutory rape: La Peste "Better Off Dead"
The best punk rock song about the inability to ejaculate: The Sniveling Shits "I Can't Come"
The best comic book to read while you're sitting on the bowl: Johnny Ryan's Angry Youth Comics
The best free masturbation fodder on the Internet: http://www.americanapparel.net/
The best Simpsons episode, episodes 201 and up: Pray Anything
The best taking head on VH1's Best Week Ever: Paul F Tompkins
The best band on Matador, circa 1996: Silkworm
The best reason to commit a homicide: Jerk sitting behind you on the bus is yakking it up on his cell phone and won't quiet down no matter how many dirty looks you give him
The best way to irritate a David Bowie fan: Mention Tin Machine*
The best way determine a person is not in the mafia: They say they're in the mafia
The best Cosby kid: Theo
The best argument for Tim Burton not being all that great: Planet of the Apes
The best side of Sandinista!: 3
The best Alan Moore comic, post-Watchmen: Top Ten
The best album of the 1990s that nobody talks about: Prisonshake's The Roaring Third
The best time to take a nap: Whenever you're sleepy
The best name for a character played by Tony Danza: Tony
The best season, New York Mets, Bobby Valentine era: 1999
The best fake trailer in Grindhouse: Don't
The best television show not currently legally available on DVD: Get a Life
The best Mr. Show sketch: Pre-Taped Call In Show
The best band to release a dud of a live album as their debut: Hüsker Dü
The best band to release a dud of a studio album as their debut: The Go-Betweens
The best way to enjoy the Staten Island ferry: When you're not taking it to and from work everyday
The best advice no one ever gave Kurt Cobain: You should stick with that Mary Lou girl
The best sign that a rerun of Roseanne isn't worth watching: New Becky
The best form of birth control: Turning the lights on in a bar at closing time
The best way to pointlessly fill space on your blog: stupid lists
The best: You. Just for being you. (awwwww)

*I'm aware that I've mentioned Tin Machine in 3 of my past 9 posts. I'm sorry. This won't happen again until I find their self-titled LP in a used bin for a buck and review it for "Paleontology for Dullards." Probably.